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Happy Locktober

Writer's picture: Skye SunnySkye Sunny

For most people, October is the month of witches, ghouls, mummies, and horror flicks. For a select set, though, it’s also the month for something even more frightening: abstaining from sex and even sexual pleasure, also known as “chastity.”


“Locktober,” it’s called in the kink community: a time for locking up those wiggly bits and putting away the key. Even getting an erection becomes nearly impossible for people with penises: the device you’ve caged it in won’t let it happen, or will make the experience quite unpleasant!


Although some women lock it up, too, I’ve seen many more men wanting to practice chastity as a form of pleasure. Why? Our guess is that chastity has a bad rap with women, who know the stories of medieval “chastity belts” that supposedly guarded female virginity or sexual fidelity by men who felt they had ownership of women's bodies.


These belts didn’t exist: they’re a myth. But they might as well have existed. The Church and society punished females who enjoyed sexual pleasure. No one wants to relive those times. However, submissive chastity play in which the woman’s dominant partner holds the key — literally or figuratively — can be a turn-on.


Men don’t have the same history of sexual oppression. If anything, they bring the opposite problem to the chastity table: they feel a bit too free to express themselves sexually, and want, on some level, to find boundaries. Maybe it comes as a relief to hand to someone else the power over their bodies that men — cisgender, straight men, at least — have always enjoyed. The reasons to explore chastity are endless and even our own caged online submissive's have their own unique reasons as to why they give me their key.


What is chastity play?


Chastity play may or may not involve a physical device such as a cock cage. If you’ve got the willpower, you can merely decide not to have sexual intercourse. Or you can buy a device and give yourself the delicious pleasure of locking up and putting away the key. This option can allow you to take extra precautions with hygiene, without penalty.


Find our favorite cages here


If you’re single, you might choose to find a keyholder where you collaborate on the timeline of your lockup. You might also hire a Domm/e to hold you accountable, with penalties if you break your chastity vow.


If you’re in a couple, your partner could be your keyholder and accountability person. This can be a fun way to try dominance and submission, if you haven’t before. (I’ll write more about the “play” aspect of chastity play, including punishments and other games, later this month.)


Why abstain from sex?


People engage in chastity play for all kinds of reasons. Some I’ve experienced are:


  • They love the idea of self-denial, finding it an incredible aphrodisiac.

  • They want to give control of their orgasm to someone else.

  • They’ve become compulsive in their need for orgasm, and see chastity as an opportunity to reboot.

  • Some find it as a sexy reminder that they are loved and held by their keyholder

  • They want to experience other forms of pleasure, without the drive to come getting in the way.

  • They see chastity as an elaborate form of “edging,” or sexual teasing, and want the explosive orgasm that may follow.

  • They learn to appreciate their orgasm and sexual touch more because they do not get access to it as much.

  • They simply love submission and any form of it



A dear friend of ours says chastity play gives them a sense of comfort and security. It’s also insanely hot to be denied the basic sensations of arousal and have them replaced by entirely new sensations.


Another friend says that being in chastity with a keyholder serves as a daily reminder that they are loved — and the snug device they wear feels like a little hug around their cock.


The power dynamic


Locking anything is an act of power. Locking someone’s penis or pussy — the source of sexual pleasure — raises the stakes. 


You can’t have sex at all; you can’t fondle or even touch your genitals. Whenever you sit, stand, move around, use the bathroom, take a shower, change clothes, you can feel or see that the cage is there. You’re constantly reminded of your promise to yourself, your partner, or your online keyholder — such as, in some cases, myself. But it can also be a turn-on to be denied access to your most intimate parts. It’s like having an itch that you can’t scratch: it intensifies rather than goes away. And when you can finally apply those fingernails, ahhhh! 


Once your cock is locked, you’ll want nothing more than to take it out again and enjoy it. But, too bad! You can’t. The temptation will build and build. You’ll get hornier and hornier. You may offer to do things you never thought you would do just to get that release. 


I like to get my clients to try other forms of self-pleasure that don’t involve the genitals. For some, this will be the first time they’ve stimulated their nipples, or just felt the delight of touching their skin. And — hello! Your anus is still totally accessible! This is a great time to heighten your sensitivity and make sex post-chastity hotter than ever.


And when you finally can open that package and touch yourself? It’s like Christmas all over again — with fireworks! Our clients tell us that their post-chastity orgasm is more explosive than any orgasm they have had, especially those who were masturbating once a day or more.  Getting off can now become less routine, and more of a spiritual or at least special experience. Chastity and BDSM Chastity can be an exciting addition to a D/s dynamic, spicing up the act of doing household chores for your mistress, pleasuring her, or even indulging in fetishes such as financial domination and houseboy roles. 


Outside the home, you might be the caged slave at a kink party or sex club or the dominatrix wearing the caged sub’s key around your neck. Online, your Mistress might communicate with you on their website or in a message board. 


These keyholders should be experienced, should give you ground rules for your chastity, and openly communicate with you throughout the time you’re locked. Keyholding 101: The bare facts A key holder is the person or device that looks after the keys to a man’s chastity device, denying him the ability to unlock himself. You might choose your partner to take this responsibility, or someone online whom you pay for the service of holding your key literally or virtually. 


For a successful chastity experience, you’ll need to be completely honest with your keyholder and also practice self control. Sure, you can “cheat,” but whom are you cheating but yourself? You can deny your impulses to touch yourself OR deny yourself the great experiences that chastity brings.Online keyholders may be independent companies or someone you find on a site like Onlyfans, you can find our's here.  


Every keyholder is different, so be picky. Find someone you can build a relationship with, and whom you can trust. Make sure to check out their reputation and educate yourself about what you’re in for before sending your keys away. 


Bluetooth locks that keep your key out of reach for a predetermined amount of time are also available.


Most important, learn how to wear a cage safely, and what to know about health and hygiene before engaging in this form of play. Have an emergency way out, if needed, such as a spare key you can give to someone nearby whom you trust. Cages should feel uncomfortable at first but NEVER painful. Listen to your body, invest in high-quality cages, and educate yourself on proper wearing before jumping right in.




Pro tip: Enjoy yourself! It’s supposed to be fun!


Chastity play is just that: play. It might seem crazy at first, but in fact having a cage on your cock to deny you your most primal urges can be a head — and body — trip that you’ll never forget. The men I’ve served as Mistress LOVE chastity. And between giving control, the torment of constant temptation, amazing orgasms, getting closer to your partner, exploring new fetishes, and learning to experience pleasure somewhere else besides your cock, what’s not to love?

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1 Comment


kinkylawdad
Dec 10, 2024

Can we ask which chastity device you use and if you like it?

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