“P” is for paroxysms. “P” is for pleasure. And “P” is for prostate, the gland just inside the rectum that, when stroked, gives its owner pleasurable paroxysms as well as incredibly intense orgasms.
Chances are, the penis owner in your life is well aware of the prostate and its pleasurable propensities. If they’re asking you for anal play, the prostate may be why. We suggest that you say not “yes,” but “hell, yes,” because prostate massage is incredibly easy and will yield great benefits for you, as well. They could become your slave for life (or for a weekend). They could fall madly in love with you. They could return the favor and massage your favorite body part until you, too, explode like a warehouse full of fireworks.
Wtf is a prostate?
About the size, texture, and shape of a walnut shell, the prostate makes seminal fluid, or semen, which carries the wiggling, egg-fertilizing spermatozoa (“sperm”) through the penis and out, to its final destination.
It sits about two inches above the rectum, surrounding the urethra, which is incredibly sensitive with many nerve endings. It’s often likened to a woman’s G spot, which is also about the size and texture of a walnut shell and which also connects to the urethra. Both areas, when stroked, pressed, massaged, or otherwise stimulated, can intensify orgasms or even produce their own.
Finding the sweet spot
Just as with the G spot, the P spot may be easy or difficult to locate: everyone’s physiology is unique. To find it in your partner, we recommend these steps:
Trim the fingernail on the middle finger of the hand you’ll use until it’s very short and smooth. Alternatively, slip your hand into a surgical glove.
Squirt lube onto the probing finger and the anus. We like silicone lube unless we plan to use silicone toys during our anal play; it stays smooth and doesn’t absorb into the body as quickly as a water-based lube. We don’t recommend oils for this area.
Warm up your receiver. If they aren’t used to having their anus probed, you’ll want to proceed very slowly, perhaps rimming the rosebud with your fingertip and stroking their perineum and balls to arouse them and stimulate blood flow, which can soften their asshole and make them more relaxed and receptive.
Ask if they’re ready to be entered. If they say “yes,” slide your finger in very slowly. Check in frequently to make sure they’re enjoying themselves!
Once your second knuckle has reached their anal opening, turn your finger so that your fingernail faces their spine, and palm of your finger tip is towards their testicles. Feel with the pad of your finger for the prostate – it should feel soft or slightly rubbery.
Performing the massage
Finding the P-spot is only half the fun. Now you get to treat your partner to the pleasure that only a massage can bring.
A note on P-liminaries: For P-spot massage, we like to douche one-two hours in advance to reduce the chance of getting fecal matter on our hands or anywhere else. I also shave Sunny’s asshole so I’m not pulling his hair when I go in. These steps aren’t necessary, but they make the practice nicer for us.
Make a “come hither” motion with your finger so that it presses toward their stomach, massaging the area. Ask the receiver how that feels. They may feel the urge to urinate, which is normal since the urethra runs through the middle of the prostate (lending another nuance to the term “P-spot”). But if they’re already turned on, they may also become even more so, and beg you not to stop.
Press against the P-spot for about 10 seconds, then straighten your finger to pull away. This action increases the blood flow to the area, enlarging the prostate. You may need to do this more than once for the desired effect.
Once you feel that the gland has grown, crook your finger again and rub it against the spot. Don’t worry about being too rough: the P-spot can handle firm stimulus, similar to a woman’s G-spot. Don't forget to check in with your partner about pressure and positioning while exploring.
Try different motions: circling, rubbing, pressing. Ask the receiver how each feels. Consider asking what they want the outcome of this massage to be: mere pleasure, or a full-blown orgasm?
While some recipients can reach orgasm from P-spot stimulation alone, others like more. As if your partner would enjoy a blow job or hand job. Or, if you’re not well positioned for that, invite them to stroke themselves while you continue massaging.
Ask if they’d like you to add a finger or even two to the play.
Once you’re both comfortable with the ins and outs of prostate pleasure, consider incorporating toys into your play. Most anal-play toys for men are explicitly designed to stimulate the P-spot. Some we like include strap-on dildos for prostate massage during pegging (just make sure the dildo is positioned to press against the P-spot instead of the tailbone); vibrating dildos; and thrusting vibrators that you can attach to a wall for solo play.
*Anatomy lesson:
Have you ever wondered why men have difficulty urinating when they have an erection? It’s because of the prostate gland. It swells during an erection to produce seminal fluid, choking off the flow of urine through the urethra, which it surrounds.
‘Milking’ the prostate
Women aren’t the only ones who ‘squirt’ during sexual stimulation. Men can produce semen during P-spot massage without having an orgasm. It’s quite an experience to see the milky fluid running down your cock or that of your partner before an orgasm happens.
Don’t worry – even if there’s no semen left to squirt, the orgasm can still happen. And it might even feel more intense than a “regular” orgasm because of all the edging that came before.
Many men never get to this point, however. In fact, if you’re not careful, they’ll come shortly after the massage begins. If you want a prolonged sex date, save the P-spot for last. Or, during the message, watch and listen carefully for signs of an impending orgasm, and stop before they go over the edge. P-spot massage feels so amazing, they almost won’t be able to restrain themselves.
If your partner does come quickly, don’t worry. You might have temporarily lost that slow-sex practice you wanted, but you probably gained something much longer lasting: their gratitude and utter devotion.
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