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  • Writer's pictureSkye

Beginners Guide to Pegging

With kinks becoming more and more mainstream and with how progressive the world of sexuality has become, pegging has been considered the top kink for 2023 by Mashable, Cosmopoliton, and Clips4Sale. But with all of this talk you probably still have no idea how to approach this new curiosity with yourself, your partner, or even how to feel about it with pressures from society. This is where I want to help! Below you will find a quick guide to help guide you through this curiosity around pegging.


What is Pegging?

For the sake of this article pegging is a sexual activity where a person with a strap-on dildo penetrates their partner anally. The act of pegging typically involves a woman or individual without a penis wearing a strap-on dildo and penetrating their partner anally. We can also see men with micro penises or those in chastity wear a strap as instructed by their partner, but that is not the typical case for this article. In the past pegging has typically been viewed as a dominating act done to a bottom or submissive, but more recently we have seen the genre of intimate pegging done in a non-dominating or non-humiliating way, simply for their partner’s prostate pleasure.



Preparation for Pegging

With any type of anal play we suggest doing some prep before just diving in. Take a shower and clean your anus well. We also recommend using an anal douche before any play. This will flush things out and helps avoid unwanted messes and just makes the overall experience better for yourself and your partner. While douching is not necessarily it can help to eliminate any embarrassment or concern for your partner with personal hygiene. If you are new to prep read our post on How to Prepare for Anal Play


Self-Exploration

As with any sexual act that you want to try with a partner, we suggest that everyone try it out on their own first. Playing on your own can really help to give you the space to work through some of the things when you are trying out something new. It can remove the pressure on both sides to really let you take your time and explore what works and what doesn’t. This can help to make things a lot easier once you actually try it out together. This is especially true when it comes to anal play and pegging. With pegging your partner is penetrating you with a silicone toy, meaning that they are not able to feel what you are feeling. It is important for you to get comfortable and confident with this type of play, as you will be helping to guide your partner. This is when you get to learn what feels really good and what may not feel as good, and it is important that you can communicate both to your partner. It is also important to know what it feels like when you go too quickly with anal and how to self-soothe in those intense moments, those moments while uncomfortable are fleeting and I want you to slow down and try again before giving up. You should never experience pain though so start small and slow before working yourself up!


Lube and Lots of It!

We like to say there is no such thing as too much lube when it comes to anal play. The anus has no natural lubrication and it is very important to use a generous amount both inside and out to avoid injury and ensure comfort. Make sure to apply lube to any toy you are using as well and reapply if it feels like things are getting dry. Water-based lubricant is usually the best for anal play but we suggest experimenting with different types of lube to find what works best for you. It is also important to communicate with your partner when you need more lube as they are not able to feel when things start to dry up.


Choose the Right Equipment

Invest in a high-quality, body-safe strap-on harness and dildo. From your self play and exploration you will know what size dildo to use but it is always best to start on the smaller side. The addition of thrusting from your partner can be more intense than anything you have done on your own and the last thing you want on your first time is to go too big. Be patient in your search to find the right dildo and the right strap-on, they are not one size fits all! So make exploring and shopping fun! We are here to help with any questions or recommendations you may need.


Incorporating Pegging Into Sex

When it comes to pegging and sex, there are many ways to approach it. You can have a sexual experience where there is just pegging or pegging can be incorporated into the overall experience along with other acts. It’s totally up to you and your partner. This is where communication comes into play. Before engaging in sex talk to your partner about what you would like and what they would like. Many couples just start with the intention of pegging being the only act and others start with their typical sex and move to pegging at some point. We suggest that if you are incorporating pegging into other sex acts that it be reserved for the end. Pegging can be a wonderful way to finish and you don’t have to worry about taking a harness on and off and cleaning up in the middle. Heck, sometimes we love mixing in anal play for the both of us during a scene, everyone wins!


Pegging Foreplay and Warm Up

This is where your self-exploration experience will really come into play. Based on your experience, guide your partner through warming you up for full on pegging. Tell them what you like and help set the pace you are comfortable with. Start with having them tease your anus or even rimming you if that’s something they are comfortable with. From there start inserting fingers or a small butt plug. Start small and go up in size, I will always ask Sunny “are you ready,” before I ever peg him. We love to start with kissing, massaging, and I will move down to start giving Sunny a blowjob or a hand job and start to play with his taint and then his prostate- but make this fun and make this yours! Foreplay is an incredibly important part to all types of sex and we recommend you both talk about what type of foreplay you really enjoy!


Go Slow

Whether it is your first time pegging with your partner or the hundredth, starting slow is always recommended. Help your partner guide the dildo into you and don’t just dive right in. Insert just the tip and allow your body to relax. From there you can start with small slow thrusts and work up to deeper and more quicker thrusts. Your goal may be to work towards a hands free orgasm where anal penetration is the only act being done, but we have found that a handjob while pegging really helps to not only relax the body but to give you that explosive orgasm.


Constant Communication

It is incredibly important to keep communication open throughout the experience. Provide constant feedback and allow your partner to make adjustments accordingly. Tell them what feels good when they do it and don’t be afraid to speak up if something isn’t working. This goes for both the giver and the receiver. Thrusting and being in a “top” position can be a very new thing and it’s easy to get tired and need a break. There is nothing wrong with needing to stop, adjust, and restart. Constant communication can ensure both parties are comfortable throughout and lead to a better overall experience. It is also important as the bottom to give your new top praise, this is new and can feel really awkward but with praise and knowing what feels good can really make it a trust building relationship for both people. Making your partner feel good while they are pegging you can also help to keep this as an active tool in your sex kit and make it enjoyable for both parties.


Positions

Experiment with different positions to find what's most comfortable and pleasurable for both partners. Popular positions include missionary, doggy style, and cowgirl. We suggest starting with missionary. This tends to be the most comfortable position for everyone and allows you to see each other and stay in tune. Missionary also provides easy access for the giver to play with the receiver more easily. Depending on your bed it may also be beneficial to use a wedge to help lift the booty and make it easier on the top. Remember, it is okay and expected to fumble at first!


Expectations and Goals

One thing we want to reinforce is that just like sex, pegging doesn’t always have to lead to an orgasm. Pegging orgasms are absolutely wonderful but like any orgasm, they don’t always happen no matter how hard you try. Pegging is ultimately about sharing an intimate experience with your partner and the focus should always be on that. Having the goal of orgasm every single time can put unnecessary pressure on both parties and pressure during intimacy is never good.


Open Communication

Pegging can be a new concept depending on your level of sexual communication with your partner and it’s important to take the time to talk through things together. Read our blog post on How to Talk to Your Partner About Pegging for some tips on how to have this conversation. Be patient and kind to your partner when approaching something new.


Aftercare

Like with all sessions of intimacy it is important to have active aftercare. Your aftercare may look different the the cuddling and talking after sex and that is why it is important for each of you to talk about what you need in aftercare. Aftercare after pegging is important because both of you may have lots of thoughts about what just happened, hesitations, concerns, or questions and this holding space and debriefing while in the moment can really help to bring everything together.


It's important to approach pegging with love, communication, and consent.



Tips for her:

What does she get out of it?

As a service top I get the pleasure and joy of giving pleasure to my partner, and pegging is no different. This is an act of love for my partner and I am grateful to have created a safe enough space for him to be curious in, to find pleasure in new ways, and for him to have the most explosive orgasms! There is a bit of pressure on your clit while pegging that can be quite pleasurable but if you are looking for more personal pleasure while pegging you can try and bumper, an internal vibrator, or a strapless strap-on dildo.


How do I get better at thrusting?

It can feel so awkward right?! Trust me, it gets easier and you will feel less pumped out! Standing by the end of the bed seems to be the easiest position but play around with it, take breaks, and the more you do it the easier it will get! So practice air humping!


Explore and Evolve: Remember that pegging is about pleasure and exploration. As you gain experience and confidence, you can try different toys, techniques, and fantasies.


Remember

Toys do not define your sexuality, you get too!


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